The Dirty little eBook of Sex Quotes is now available for FREE for your enjoyment.  Feel free to steal it, copy it, print it or even post it on your blog!

About the Book

“It’s not true that I had nothing on. I had the radio on.” declared Marilyn Monroe illustrating her wonderful sense of humor. Kevin Costner suggested “Sex and golf are the two things you can enjoy even if you’re not good at them.”  And let’s not forget Ken Hammond who once remarked “What’s the three words you never want to hear while making love? ‘Honey, I’m home’.”

Most everyone enjoys reading quotes about sex.  We delight in reading them because they are so often uncomfortably true. Sex quotes often convey an embedded message that we know to be true but are often afraid or unwilling to utter in public. Without a doubt few things can spice up a conversation about sex or sexuality more than a well-chosen sex quote.  Given our affinity for sex quotes, wouldn’t it be great to have the best sex quotes available compiled in a free eBook?  Well here it is folks!

The Dirty little eBook of Sex Quotes is organized into 30 categories for quick easy reference.  This eBook is the ultimate source for the best sex quotes around.  This eBook not only makes for great reading it is also very visually appealing.  This eBook has it all: Dirty Sex, Bisexuality, Money, Chastity, The Tao of Sex, Safe Sex, Relationships and many more.  All told, this eBook conains well over 200 of the best sex quotes ever.

I just put the finishing touches on The Dirty little eBook of Sex Quotes package which you can get right now for FREE by clicking on the download link below:

Enjoy!

360 Downloads Since 2010-04-25

Sometimes those joke emails you get from your friends have some pretty interesting content in them.  Below are some ad pics that I received in one such email.  Take a look at them.  These ads are pretty disturbing and quite sexists, but they are still quite funny.  It is quite interesting to see what was once considered acceptable regarding sex and gender roles.  Enjoy!

It’s been awhile since I last posted this feature so without any further ado lets get enjoy a few more naughty t-shirts!

On the AdultFriendFinder.com (AFF) website you will most likely find the results of a ‘Purity Test’ on everyone’s profile.   The purity test is composed of 100 yes/no questions which will determine how naughty or nice you have been thus far in your life.  Once you complete the test you will receive a score out of 100%.  For every question you answered yes to you will subtract 1%.  For example if you answered yes to 55 questions your score will be 45 or 45%.  The lower your purity score the more naughty you have been.  Conversely, the higher your score the more sexually pure you are.   Completing the purity test is lots of fun and allows you to compare your score with other members and hopefully impress them how naughty you are.

When you sign up for an AFF profile you have an opportunity to fill out a purity test and then have the results displayed prominently on your profile.  There is a special form on AFF which displays the questions.  Since we cannot look at the test unless you are a member I have listed the Purity Test questions below:

“Have you ever . . .”

1. French kissed (tongued)?
2. been on a blind date?
3. had or given a hickey?
4. engaged in foreplay?
5. read a pornographic book or magazine?
6. masturbated to a picture?
7. sucked an MOS’s (member of the opposite sex) breasts or had your breasts sucked?
8. seen a pornographic movie?
9. gone coed skinny-dipping?
10. committed an act of exhibitionism (moon, streak, flash)?
11. masturbated?
12. purchased contraceptives?
13. engaged in foreplay for more than two hours consecutively?
14. been shopping inside a porn shop?
15. showered or bathed with an MOS?
16. shaved your pubic hair?
17. committed an act of voyeurism?
18. had sex with a virgin?
19. had sex in a car?
20. had sex outdoors?
21. experienced a lap dance?
22. gone to a strip club or porn house?
23. performed a strip tease for an MOS?
24. met with someone for sex only?
25. had sex non-stop for an hour?
26. interrupted a couple having sex?
27. jerked off or fingered by an MOS?
28. jerked off or fingered an MOS?
29. photographed a MOS naked?
30. been naked in photos taken by a MOS?
31. given oral sex to a MOS?
32. done 69?
33. had sex in three or more positions?
34. experimented sexually before puberty?
35. been caught masturbating?
36. masturbated with another person in the room?
37. watched another person masturbate?
38. watched another party have sex?
39. had sex in a public place?
40. had sex during menstruation?
41. gotten a woman pregnant, been pregnant?
42. (arranged, had) an abortion?
43. have a child or children?
44. had a V.D. test?
45. had a V.D.?
46. orgasmed three or more times in one night?
47. traveled over 100 miles just to get laid?
48. cheated on a boyfriend/girlfriend or spouse?
49. picked up a stranger for sex?
50. had sex with a member that you’ve met on Adult FriendFinder?
51. had sex with a MOS with an age difference of 10 years or more?
52. had sex with a MOS with an age difference of 20 years or more?
53. put an inanimate object up your vagina or anus?
54. had anal sex?
55. had sex in front of a third party?
56. had an alcoholic drink?
57. been drunk?
58. used alcohol to lower an MOS’s resistance?
59. had an alcoholic blackout?
60. smoked tobacco?
61. smoked pot or hashish?
62. used LSD, PCP, heroin, or Mushrooms?
63. used cocaine?
64. used three or more recreational drugs in one night?
65. been arrested?
66. been convicted of a crime?
67. accepted money to remove any clothing?
68. gotten laid on the first date?
69. had a threesome?
70. had a foursome?
71. attended any of the orgy or swinger parties held by our members?
72. rimmed a partner?
73. Sought out a hooker?
74. engaged with a hooker or gigolo?
75. had sex with two MOSes at the same time?
76. had sex with two different people separately in a 24 hr period?
77. videotaped yourself having sex?
78. accepted money to perform a sexual act?
79. gave or received sex with a strap-on?
80. slept with a married MOS?
81. been engaged?
82. been married?
83. had sex with a friend of a current boyfriend/girlfriend or spouse?
84. had sex with a relative of a current boyfriend/girlfriend or spouse?
85. had sex with more than 10 different people in your life?
86. had sex with more than 30 different people in your life?
87. had sex with more than 50 different people in your life?
88. had sex with an unconscious person?
89. been propositioned by a homosexual?
90. accepted?
91. kissed a member of the SAME sex?
92. been masturbated by a member of the SAME sex?
93. been orally stimulated by a member of the SAME sex?
94. had sex with a member of the SAME sex?
95. lived in a threesome (sex with 2 others) for a month or more?
96. been involved in an orgy or swingers party?
97. engaged in bondage?
98. engaged in sadomasochism for sexual enjoyment?
99. engaged in group (5 or more people) sex?
100. recommended Adult FriendFinder to another person?

If you did the test and would like to compare yourself to others here is the breakdown:

• Women are 51.3% pure on average.
• Men are 52.8% pure on average.
• Couples are 41.4% pure on average.

If you are curious how we scored on the test we came out at only 18% pure, not too shabby! The lowest score I have seen was around 5….that is pretty debauched.  The highest score I have seen on the site was from a 21 year old woman who had a purity score of 89%.  This woman had a serious profile in which she described her many fantasies in fascinating detail.  But unfortunately she was unable to act on any of them as she lived in wonderfully tolerant Medieval Kingdom of Saudi Arabia where even logging onto AFF would most likely get her 100 lashes from the Mutawwa’in (religious police) if she got caught.

Here’s another gem from one of my favorite religious bigots, Pat Robertson.   Take a look at this YouTube video clip where he suggests that nations that embrace the homosexual lifestyle will end up on the garbage heap of history.   If Pat Robertson ever bothered to check the historical record for himself, he would soon discover there is no truth to his claims.  But then again telling the truth was never one of Pat’s strong suits.

I did some historical research on the type of claims that Pat Robertson makes and it does not take very long to figure out that they are completely baseless.   If you are so inclined, you can read about my research in the following two posts:

The Wrath of God and the Sin of Sodomy – Part I

The Wrath of God and the Sin of Sodomy – Part II

Pat Robertson’s website issued a bulletin warning Americans that demons are lurking in their Halloween candy. These guys were totally serious about this! Christian Broadcasting Network writer, Kimberly Daniels, claims that curses and demons sneak into bags of Halloween candy at grocery stores.

Most of the candy sold during this season has been dedicated and prayed over by witches, I do not buy candy during the Halloween season. Curses are sent through the tricks and treats of the innocent whether they get it by going door to door or by purchasing it from the local grocery store. The demons cannot tell the difference.

Halloween is much more than a holiday filled with fun and tricks or treats, it is a time for the gathering of evil that masquerades behind the fictitious characters of Dracula, werewolves, mummies and witches on brooms. The truth is that these demons that have been presented as scary cartoons actually exist. I have prayed for witches who are addicted to drinking blood and howling at the moon.

It is almost beggars belief that these guys would actually issue a warning like this, but there it is! I think the only scary characters we need to be afraid of is Pat Roberson himself and his band of self deluded nut cases.

I came across a fascinating official Roman Catholic publication called the Acta Apostolicae Sedis (Latin for “Acts of the Apostolic See”).  The Acta Apostolicae Sedis publishes all the principal decrees, encyclical letters, decisions of Roman congregations, and notices of ecclesiastical appointments by the Holy Office.

The June 30, 1952 issue outlined many Church positions on a myriad of sexual issues.  Given the Catholic Church’s reputation for sexual prudery, this document demonstrates the extreme lengths that the Catholic Church would go to regulate every aspect of sex.   The following case study presented in the publication, provides a fascinating peek into how Catholic Church regulated even the tiniest of nuances surrounding birth control:

On November 30, 1921, the Bishops of Holland submitted some questions to the Holy See concerning the practice of copula dimidiate (intercourse in which there is partial (e.g., one third or one half) penetration of the vagina, with semination taking place in the vagina).  Their explanatory letter showed that they were especially concerned because of the scandal given by certain confessors who were spontaneously and promiscuously recommending it to penitents desirous of avoiding more children. Furthermore, the Bishops believed the practice was not only contrary to Christian morality but was in danger of leading Catholics to onanism rather than averting them from it. It was the sort of situation which we have seen repeated in recent times in the case of amplexus reservatus (no ejaculation or orgasm by either sex during the act). Well-meaning and zealous confessors, in trying to find a solution for the birth control problems of their penitents, were acting imprudently and even erroneously in their indiscriminate recommendations of a questionable practice.

On Nov. 23, 1922 the Holy Office issued a reply, approved by Pius XI, which effectively put an end to these irregularities.

Basically the Catholic Church decreed that a man is not allowed to cum anywhere from the entrance of a woman’s vagina to half way in inside her vagina……He must cum all the way inside, no exceptions!  Does this mean that every couple must keep a measuring tape handy just to make sure they do not make a mistake?  What if the guy has a really small penis, what happens thenÉ

Since I had a Bisexual theme going on with my last post, I thought this sexy woman and her T-shirt were quite appropriate.  It appears that this beautiful woman’s indulging of Sapphic lust had thus convinced her to make the full transition from being bi-curious to a fully certified bisexual.  Good for her!

Or-gy-an-iz-er  [awr-jee-ahn-ny-zer]

–noun

An essential person who organizes orgies, esp, one who forms and organizes large and lavish gatherings of people.

There are those who believe that having sex outside of marriage is cheating, this woman has a slightly different opinion on the matter!

“I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy.”
—Steve Martin

“Sex without love is a meaningless experience. But as meaningless experiences go, it’s one of the best.”
—Woody Allen

“Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don’t have a good partner, you’d better have a good hand.”
—Unknown

“I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.”
—George Burns

“Programming is like sex. One mistake and you have to support it for the rest
of your life.”
—Michael Sinz

“Remember, if you smoke after sex you’re doing it too fast.”
—Woody Allen

“I think people should be free to engage in any sexual practices they choose; they should draw the line at goats though.”
—Elton John

“Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.”
—Woody Allen

“Homosexuality is God’s way of insuring that the truly gifted aren’t burdened with children.”
—Sam Austin

“It isn’t premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married.”
—Matt Barry

“Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation. The other eight are unimportant.”
—Henry Miller

“The Bible contains six admonishments to homosexuals and 362 admonishments
to heterosexuals. That doesn’t mean that God doesn’t love heterosexuals. It’s just that they need more supervision.”
—Lynn Lavner

“Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. “Yes” is the answer.”
—Swami X

“When a man talks dirty to a woman, it’s sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man, it’s $3.95 a minute.”
—Author Unknown

“Love is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions. ”
—WoodyAllen

“I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it’s fantastic.”
—Woody Allen

Fucking is an Austrian village located 33 km north of Salzburg and four km east of the German border in Upper Austria.  Apparently, the Fucking village has been in existence since at least 1070 AD and is named after a man from the 6th century called Focko.  The “ing” is an old German suffix indicating there are people attached to the root word; thus Fucking means place of Focko’s people.  It seems the local inhabitants have been doing a pretty good job of living up to their namesake all these years as the Fucking village has a population of 107 inhabitants.

The Fucking village’s most famous feature is a traffic sign with its name on it, beside which tourists often stop to have their photograph taken.  As one can well imagine the Fucking traffic sign is commonly stolen.  The municipal authorities have had to spend significant amounts of Fucking money to replace the stolen signs.

In response to the frequent sign thefts, the Fucking residents held a plebiscite in 2004 on weather to change the village’s name.  However the residents voted against doing so.  According to the Fucking mayor, Siegfried Hauppl:

In August 2005, the road signs were replaced with theft-resistant sign welded to steel and secured in concrete to prevent further chances of the sign being stolen.  It appears that the new theft-resistant signs have solved the Fucking problem as few thefts have occurred since.