Hello everyone.  Dr. Dick over at Dr. Dick’s Sex Advice recently interviewed me for his Sex Wisdom podcast series.  In my interview with Dr. Dick I help him to demythologize some of our culture’s sexual taboos.  During our discussion we cover the following topics:

• Being a sex historian
• Exploring the origins of sexual taboos and myths
• The history of the Bacchanalia — its zenith, persecution and downfall
• What this story tells us about what happens
• The resurgence of sacred sexuality
• The Sin of Sodom
• Comparing ancient Hebrew and early Christian interpretations.

This is a two part podcast with Dr. Dick and you can catch Part I of my interview at any of the following links:

• Sex Advice with an Edge
• Carnal Nation

I invite you to go over and check it out.  And while you are at it check out some of Dr. Dick’s other podcasts.  There is some pretty amazing content there that I’m sure you will all enjoy.

Here is my second part of my discussion of AFF’s Male to Female ratio.  If you have read the first post you might have gotten the idea that things look pretty grim out there for men hoping to find some action on AFF.  While this may be the case for those living outside of North America.  But for those living in the UK, USA or Canada if we look carefully at the numbers on AFF some interesting things start to emerge.

In the time I have spent on AFF I have noticed some interesting differences in how men and women interact on this site.  These patterns skew the M/F ratio to such a degree that they make those numbers a lot less meaningful or even irrelevant.  The two key differences that I have noted are as follows:

• Male members can be very sloppy with their profiles often abandoning them while Female members are much more careful with their profiles deleting or turning them off when they are finished with the site.
• Female members tend to be active for much shorter periods of time than Male members.

So why are Male members more sloppy and Female members are generally not?  Besides stating a fact of nature this phenomenon is clearly evident on AFF.  For example, with all the vast numbers of Men Seeking Women profiles, a large portion of them have not been logged into by their owners for months or even years.  Often these profiles have been abandoned by their owners because they have just given up.  AFF does not purge abandoned profiles from their listings and they include these profiles in their total member count just to keep the numbers high.  It is pretty common to come across Male member profiles that have not been active for some time.  For further confirmation of what I am describing let us refer to AFF’s official method of defining a member:

A “member” is a user account which has been logged in within approximately 2 years, has an available profile, and has an active email account

Clearly AFF is intent on counting member profiles that have not been used for up to two years.  I would call that counting abandoned profiles!  Part of AFF’s marketing strategy to sign up new members is to entice them with 30+ million profiles they have.  Too keep those numbers high, they need to include a lot abandoned profiles.  To AFF’s credit, the above definition can be found in the small print at the bottom of every AFF webpage.  Though I suspect most people do not really understand how it impacts AFF’s overall numbers.

So how many abandoned profiles are included in AFF’s member totals.  Firstly, I would define an abandoned profile as one that has not been logged into for three months or more.  Based on my searches of the AFF database (AFF does not make this task easy) I figure that anywhere between 50% to over 75% of the Male member profiles have been abandoned.  That adds up to a lot of phantom competition for any men hoping to hook up on AFF.

Women on the other hand are much less likely to abandon their profiles.  Women, who tend to be more careful about their online identity, are more likely to turn off their profile or delete them outright when they are not using it.  It is quite common to come across a link to a Female profile to then discover it has been either turned off or does not even exist anymore.

So what does this all mean?  Men who look at AFF’s horrible 10:1 M/F ratio may figure why bother?  But if you look carefully at the Male competition you will realise that most of them are not active and have abandoned their profiles.  Conversely, Female members are more likely to turn off or delete their profiles.  The combined effect of these two patterns drastically increases the number of male profiles and decreases the number of female profiles thus inflating the M/F ratio significantly.

The other factor that that skews the M/F ratio is the relative activity levels of Male and Female members.  It is very easy for a Female member to find a suitable match on AFF.  That should be hardly surprising!  In just a few weeks she can find all the fuck buddies she will ever need.  Once she has set up her speed dial with all her new friends she no longer needs AFF and as such turns off or deletes her profile.  Men on the other hand have to keep their profiles active for months or even years to gain any measure of success.  I have seen this pattern repeat itself over and over again on AFF.  Over the course of a year you will get thousands of Female members (in a given area) come and go but their numbers will not be reflected in the total member count because their profiles have been already deleted or turned off.

Let me illustrate this point further.  Let us say that you check the number of Women Seeking Men profiles in your city and find the total number is 12,000 listings.  That will be 12,000 listings today, but if you were to add in the number of deleted or turned off female profiles over the course of the year it might add up to 20,000 listings.

The combination of abandoned Male member profiles, deleted or turned off Female member profiles and the relative activity of male and female members has vastly inflated the numbers of male members and under estimated the number of female members.  If I were to guess on the percentage of active members (a member who has logged in during the past three months or less) as a percentage of the total quoted figures that AFF provides, it would probably be in the range of 10-20%.  The reason AFF continues in doing this slight of hand is so that inflated numbers keep the new member signups keep coming in.

In reality, the M/F ratio is not the 10:1 or 15:1 that I talked about in my last post.  It might be 5:1 or even better but AFF’s search engine does not provide me with enough traction to put a definite number to it.  This news should be encouraging to those men who are hoping to hook up.  With some persistence and patience there are some good chances for success for men on this site.  However, there are a lot of things that many of the male members do to completely rule themselves out of contention.  But that discussion will be for another day.

This will be a two part post.  In the first post I will discuss the sometimes brutal truth about AFF’s Male to Female ratio.  It is not pretty, but the numbers can be deceiving.  In the second post I will attempt to soften the blow by describing ways in which the Male to Female ratio has been badly skewed in the wrong direction.  There is hope for men on AFF as I would argue there are more women on this site then there appears to be at first glance.

One of the biggest complaints about the Adultfriendfinder (AFF) website is the Male to Female ratio (M/F).   Most commonly when a new member signs up, they soon discover there are vastly more men than women.   This realization can often be very discouraging to the male members and prompts many of them to give up on the site soon after signing up.  But what is the real M/F ratio on AFF?   I have seen many numbers being quoted ranging from an almost utopian 70:30 reported on the Dating Service website to a dreadful 17:1 ratio reported in some member reviews.  However, the most common figure I seem to come across for the M/F ratio is 10:1.

I believe there can be several different ways at looking M/F ratio on AFF.  There is the apparent M/F ratio which can be fairly easy to calculate and can very quite a bit from place to place.  I will examine in detail the apparent M/F ratio for a bunch of cities throughout North America, Europe and Asia.

Then there is the actual M/F ratio which is much harder to quantify.   The actual M/F ratio is more like a moving target and not too easy to figure out.  Maybe you will better understand what I mean with the following illustration.  The apparent M/F ratio is a lot like a conveyor belt of chocolate bars being fed to pack of hungry wolves; there is a pack of wolves hoping to get a chance to scarf down a few chocolate bars that fall from the conveyor.  The number of wolves remains relatively constant but the number of chocolate bars on the conveyor belt varies over time.  If we were to compare the total number of wolves to the total number of chocolate bars that traveled on the conveyor belt over a set period of time, we would find the ratio of those two numbers would be different than the apparent M/F ratios we find.  Well, I think you get the picture.  I will attempt to elaborate more on how this phenomenon works on AFF, but first I will review our apparent M/F ratios.

When calculating the apparent M/F ratios on AFF, I made a few assumptions.  I will be basing all my M/F ratios on the ‘Men Seeking Women’ and ‘Women Seeking Men’ categories.  I have excluded all the gay men, lesbian women and Male/Female couples from the ratio as they are seeking different kinds of casual relationships and should not be included.  Using these assumptions I have calculated the M/F ratio for a number of North American, European, Middle Eastern and Asian locations:

The above numbers show quite a spread in AFF’s M/F ratio ranging from 7:1 in Japan to 59:1 in India.  The English speaking countries of Canada, the United Kingdom and the United States have the best M/F ratio with a range of 10:1 to 16:1.   If we consider only the English speaking countries and that the majority of the listings are in the United Sates these numbers would seem to confirm the 10:1 M/F ratio.

Interestingly enough, Japan does better than all the English speaking countries with a decent 7:1 M/F ratio.  Leaving Japan aside, once we leave the English speaking countries the wheels fall off for men just about everywhere else.  Starting with a 15:1 M/F ratio in Hong Kong it falls to a disastrous 59:1 M/F ratio in India.  Even in many of the very sexually liberal countries of Europe the M/F ratio starts out horribly at 16:1 in the UK and falls to a pathetic 36:1 M/F ratio in the Netherlands.  The poor international M/F ratios would indicate that AFF is really only a practical option for English speaking people in the United States, the United Kingdom and Canada.  I believe international results speak for themselves, and they are a lost cause. Their poor M/F ratios are more likely an indicator that people in those countries are probably using dating sites developed in their own language.

Considering the above numbers, AFF’s M/F ratio really does not get much better than 10:1.  Even with a M/F ratio of 10:1 things look quite bleak out there.  Those are steep odds even for the most masochistic of men.  However, all is not lost as I would argue that the actual M/F ratio is better than the 10:1 listed above.  In my next post on this topic, I will elaborate in more detail how this is the case.

On the AdultFriendFinder.com (AFF) website you will most likely find the results of a ‘Purity Test’ on everyone’s profile.   The purity test is composed of 100 yes/no questions which will determine how naughty or nice you have been thus far in your life.  Once you complete the test you will receive a score out of 100%.  For every question you answered yes to you will subtract 1%.  For example if you answered yes to 55 questions your score will be 45 or 45%.  The lower your purity score the more naughty you have been.  Conversely, the higher your score the more sexually pure you are.   Completing the purity test is lots of fun and allows you to compare your score with other members and hopefully impress them how naughty you are.

When you sign up for an AFF profile you have an opportunity to fill out a purity test and then have the results displayed prominently on your profile.  There is a special form on AFF which displays the questions.  Since we cannot look at the test unless you are a member I have listed the Purity Test questions below:

“Have you ever . . .”

1. French kissed (tongued)?
2. been on a blind date?
3. had or given a hickey?
4. engaged in foreplay?
5. read a pornographic book or magazine?
6. masturbated to a picture?
7. sucked an MOS’s (member of the opposite sex) breasts or had your breasts sucked?
8. seen a pornographic movie?
9. gone coed skinny-dipping?
10. committed an act of exhibitionism (moon, streak, flash)?
11. masturbated?
12. purchased contraceptives?
13. engaged in foreplay for more than two hours consecutively?
14. been shopping inside a porn shop?
15. showered or bathed with an MOS?
16. shaved your pubic hair?
17. committed an act of voyeurism?
18. had sex with a virgin?
19. had sex in a car?
20. had sex outdoors?
21. experienced a lap dance?
22. gone to a strip club or porn house?
23. performed a strip tease for an MOS?
24. met with someone for sex only?
25. had sex non-stop for an hour?
26. interrupted a couple having sex?
27. jerked off or fingered by an MOS?
28. jerked off or fingered an MOS?
29. photographed a MOS naked?
30. been naked in photos taken by a MOS?
31. given oral sex to a MOS?
32. done 69?
33. had sex in three or more positions?
34. experimented sexually before puberty?
35. been caught masturbating?
36. masturbated with another person in the room?
37. watched another person masturbate?
38. watched another party have sex?
39. had sex in a public place?
40. had sex during menstruation?
41. gotten a woman pregnant, been pregnant?
42. (arranged, had) an abortion?
43. have a child or children?
44. had a V.D. test?
45. had a V.D.?
46. orgasmed three or more times in one night?
47. traveled over 100 miles just to get laid?
48. cheated on a boyfriend/girlfriend or spouse?
49. picked up a stranger for sex?
50. had sex with a member that you’ve met on Adult FriendFinder?
51. had sex with a MOS with an age difference of 10 years or more?
52. had sex with a MOS with an age difference of 20 years or more?
53. put an inanimate object up your vagina or anus?
54. had anal sex?
55. had sex in front of a third party?
56. had an alcoholic drink?
57. been drunk?
58. used alcohol to lower an MOS’s resistance?
59. had an alcoholic blackout?
60. smoked tobacco?
61. smoked pot or hashish?
62. used LSD, PCP, heroin, or Mushrooms?
63. used cocaine?
64. used three or more recreational drugs in one night?
65. been arrested?
66. been convicted of a crime?
67. accepted money to remove any clothing?
68. gotten laid on the first date?
69. had a threesome?
70. had a foursome?
71. attended any of the orgy or swinger parties held by our members?
72. rimmed a partner?
73. Sought out a hooker?
74. engaged with a hooker or gigolo?
75. had sex with two MOSes at the same time?
76. had sex with two different people separately in a 24 hr period?
77. videotaped yourself having sex?
78. accepted money to perform a sexual act?
79. gave or received sex with a strap-on?
80. slept with a married MOS?
81. been engaged?
82. been married?
83. had sex with a friend of a current boyfriend/girlfriend or spouse?
84. had sex with a relative of a current boyfriend/girlfriend or spouse?
85. had sex with more than 10 different people in your life?
86. had sex with more than 30 different people in your life?
87. had sex with more than 50 different people in your life?
88. had sex with an unconscious person?
89. been propositioned by a homosexual?
90. accepted?
91. kissed a member of the SAME sex?
92. been masturbated by a member of the SAME sex?
93. been orally stimulated by a member of the SAME sex?
94. had sex with a member of the SAME sex?
95. lived in a threesome (sex with 2 others) for a month or more?
96. been involved in an orgy or swingers party?
97. engaged in bondage?
98. engaged in sadomasochism for sexual enjoyment?
99. engaged in group (5 or more people) sex?
100. recommended Adult FriendFinder to another person?

If you did the test and would like to compare yourself to others here is the breakdown:

• Women are 51.3% pure on average.
• Men are 52.8% pure on average.
• Couples are 41.4% pure on average.

If you are curious how we scored on the test we came out at only 18% pure, not too shabby! The lowest score I have seen was around 5….that is pretty debauched.  The highest score I have seen on the site was from a 21 year old woman who had a purity score of 89%.  This woman had a serious profile in which she described her many fantasies in fascinating detail.  But unfortunately she was unable to act on any of them as she lived in wonderfully tolerant Medieval Kingdom of Saudi Arabia where even logging onto AFF would most likely get her 100 lashes from the Mutawwa’in (religious police) if she got caught.

This is the first in a new series of posts based on the sex personals website AdultFriendFinder.com (AFF).  This new series will discuss many of the inner workings of this site as well as some of the fascinating observations I have made while I have been on AFF.  If you would like to get a peek into the intriguing world of AdultFriendFinder.com, then please read on!

What is AdultFriendFinder.com?

AFF is the most popular sex personals site on the internet with well over 30 million members!  Based on Alexa, it is consistently ranked between the 40th and 60th most visited website on the Internet.   If you are looking for love, romance or an exclusive relationship, AdultFriendFinder.com will probably not be for you.  While it is possible to find your true love on this site (I personally know of several couples who have met on AFF) most who join AFF are seeking casual sex with people of the opposite or same sex, or some combination thereof.  The massive user base is very enticing to prospective members and AFF provides many interactive features and membership levels to help assist in your quest to get laid. 

AdultFriendFinder.com Features

AFF has many features and tools that help to increase your odds in making a successful hookup.  So without any further ado I have listed AFF’s many features and tools below:

• As already mentioned, AFF has the largest number of members of any sex personal website on the net with over 30 million members.  This helps to provide you with many chances to find active profiles in your area (as long as you do not live in a village less than 50 people)
• Once you become a member you have access to hundreds of thousands of erotic pictures and explicit images.
• AFF allows you to fill out as much or as little of your profile as you like.  Your profile is very customizable.  Many members have created some very amazing and beautiful profiles that match their personality and interests.  In my opinion, it is worth joining for at least a month just to see how people live their lives.
• Private and public chat rooms are available for members.  The AFF chat rooms are often very busy and you can usually find someone online in your area to chat with.
• AFF has its own Email and instant messaging system that allows you to interact with other members
• At any given point in time it is possible to choose from hundreds and even thousands of members playing on their webcams
• There are hundreds of thousands of recorded member videos that have been uploaded and are available for viewing.
• There is an online magazine area complete with thousands of erotic stories and member experiences.
• You will have access to tens of thousands of member blogs, many of which are filled with some pretty amazing content.  This is a feature I find pretty nice and many people join just to be able to view the blogs.
• As a member you are able to create a hotlist of members you like, see who has viewed your profile, see who has hotlisted and winked at you and create an ignore list of members you want to block.
• AFF has its own online Sex Academy with courses that allow you to brush up and expand your sex skills.
• You can turn your profile on or off as you desire.
• You have complete privacy protection.  No one will know who you are unless you disclose this information to another member on your own.
• There are tens thousands of forum groups which you can join depending on the topic that interests you.  Whatever fetish or desire you have (which is legal) you will most likely find a group of like minded people on AFF to discuss and share your passions.

The Scoop on Getting Laid!

While AFF has many great features and a lot of great content, hooking up is not as easy as doing 1, 2, 3.  It is certainly not as easy to get laid as AFF’s advertising makes it out to be.   It does take some effort, skill and persistence to find a match.   I have briefly outlined some of my thoughts and observations on the operation of AFF below:

• With so many features and content on AFF there are a certain percentage of people who sign up only to participate in the blogs, magazine, groups and forums.  They have no interest in hooking up with anyone for casual sex.  Not everyone on this site is there for casual sex.
• The free membership is pretty much useless; this is especially true if you are a guy.  The free membership helps to provide you a feel for the site, but any real interaction with other members is very limited if not impossible.  If you are a woman free membership will probably work as you can always count on receiving hoards of emails from the many men on AFF.  However, if you really want to use some or all of the features AFF has to offer a paid membership will be necessary
• The “apparent” guy to girl ratio on AFF is about 10:1.  You can easily calculate this by comparing the numbers of male versus female profiles in your area.  I personally believe there are more women on the site than this and I have some good reasons why I believe this is the case.  I will explain this whole phenomenon in more detail in an upcoming post.
• It can be very challenging (some will even say almost impossible) for a guys to hook up on AFF.  This is especially true if you are a lazy guy who does not want to put in the effort to figure out how pick up women on AFF!
• The flip side of the high girl to guy ratio is that women will often get an avalanche of emails from prospective guys.
• Guys joining the site sometimes make fake female profiles in order to play a cruel joke on the other members or to live out their feminine fantasies.
• Since AFF is a great place to watch sexy people in action, many people will join just to watch the action.  These people are voyeurs and they are not interested in hooking up.    While these voyeurs may never think or believe they could live like this in real life, they can at lease live out their fantasies vicariously through the lives of others.  AFF provides voyeurs with the ability to watch what goes on in a very sexually charged environment with virtually no risk to themselves.
• Your realistic chances of  hooking up on AFF are as follows (in order of success)

1. 1. Single Woman
   2. Married (non-cheating) woman
   3. Married (cheating) Woman
   4. Groups of 2 or more women……..There is really not much difference between 1, 2, 3 & 4.  Being a woman and having a pulse is all that you pretty much need to get laid on AFF.
   5. Lesbian Woman
   6. Gay Man…..being lesbian or gay affords you pretty good chances of hooking up
   7. Couples (Swingers)
   8. Transvestite & Transgender.
   9. Groups of 2 or more couples
   10. Groups of 2 or more men
   11. - no luck
   12. - Its getting harder
   13. - Shit, this is difficult
   14. - this really sucks
   15. - Oh Shit!
   16. - Where are the real women?
   17. Single Guy
   18. - This is bullshit!
   19. - What kind of bullshit is this?
   20. - Uggghhhh!
   21. Married (non-cheating) man
   22. Married (cheating) man

• If your category falls within 1 and 10 your chances of hooking up and getting laid are very good.  By figuring out the site features and some consistent effort you should be able to find a match.  As I am sure you have noticed single men and married men are way down the list.  Some effort, skill and persistence are required for success.  I have had success with No. 7 (fairly easy) as well as No. 21 (very difficult).  In a future post I will discuss in more detail how this all works and how you can find success on AFF.

• While being a guy on AFF can really suck big time, you should remember that most of your competition (all those other guys) are doing a pretty lousy job of trying to hookup.  Most of AFF’s bad reviews come from guys who have failed miserably on this site.  The problem is that the level of effort most guys put into AFF is pathetic and then they wonder why no women are interested on going on a date with them.  Hint Hint…..having a picture of your dick as your profile picture (as nice as you think it might be) just does not get the ladies fired up.  More on all this later!
• Game Players and No Shows.  Another problem with this site is that there are a lot of people here who are not very serious about meeting.  They love to wink, email, chat blog or cam but when it comes down to the nitty gritty of actually meeting they just can’t get up the nerve.  Or they were never serious in the first place.   These types of members are a big waste of your time and effort and it is not always easy to tell them apart from genuine people who want to meet for real
• Getting Spammed.  There is some big potential to get spammed on this site.  This has not happened to me personally but I know a lot of other members have complained about this issue.
• There are quite a few inactive and abandoned profiles that AFF does NOT purge on a regular basis.  While this may be the case it is pretty easy to sort the inactive profiles from the active ones.

Summary

While AFF is a site that is mostly about finding a match for casual sex, it is so much more than that.  If you take the time and effort to understand how the site works you can easily spend hours and hours immersing yourself in the various communities and fetishes that AFF supports.  AFF is a vast community of sexually minded people who love to explore their sexual desires and fantasies in a relatively safe and positive environment.  While AFF does have its pitfalls and challenges, a bit of effort will help you avoid most of the problems that people may encounter on this site.

Yesterday, yours truly and the always gorgeous Goddess Rhianna, made our way to the 2009 Calgary Taboo Sex Show.  I brought along my camera and took a bunch of pictures of the exciting goings on at the Taboo Show.   Readers of this blog who wondered if they were ever going to see some pictures of us will now be able to get a small peek into our lives.  For those of wondering what Rhianna is wearing, that is her beautiful Rhinestone Skirt Set I got for her birthday last year from FlirtCatalog.

If you live in Canada, you will no doubt be aware that Calgary does not exactly have a reputation for lots of hot sex and erotica.  But that is changing.  At this years Calgary Taboo Show you will find lots of sexy local talent.  Scroll down and and see for yourself:

A view of the Taboo Show inside the Round up Center at the Calgary Stampede grounds

Emblazoned above the main stage were the letters “SEX” highlighted with special effects lighting.  Very Nice!

A quartet of sexy pole dancers from Aradia Fitness performing

Mark Laurie of  Inner Spirit Photography is with Brody Townsend demonstrating some of the tricks and tips that he uses for his fabulous erotic photography.  Brody is one of the sexy ladies who performs for the Calgary based company Dream Girls.

Mark has Brody flick her head back and by doing so she can have her hair look six inches longer.  This pose makes for a very suggestive and sexy shot indeed!

Dancers from the Calgary based Little Vegas Dance Company performing

A shot of Rhianna from behind as she is watching one of the pole dancing performances.

Rhianna got so juiced up by all those pole dancing performances that she thought she would do some pole dancing of her own.  Blue Sky Limos had one their Lime Party Buses at the Taboo Show complete with its own built-in dance pole.

No trip to a Taboo Show is complete without some shopping.  Here we have Rhianna trying on a corset and dress from the Felix & Kittyspecialty clothing company.  Doesn’t Rhianna look great in this dress?   We thought so too and we took it home with us.

]]> http://www.thebacchanalian.com/2009/11/some-naughty-fun-at-the-taboo-sex-show/feed/ 3 http://www.thebacchanalian.com/2009/11/no-loud-sex-we%e2%80%99re-english/ http://www.thebacchanalian.com/2009/11/no-loud-sex-we%e2%80%99re-english/#comments Wed, 11 Nov 2009 04:38:46 +0000 Mark Zedler http://www.thebacchanalian.com/?p=1523

Here is an amusing story about a couple in the United Kingdom who have been charged for making excessive noise during sex:

Woman claims order banning her from noisy sex is breach of human rights – By the Telegraph, Nov 9^th, 2009

Caroline and Steve Cartwright’s love making was described as ”murder” and ”unnatural” and drowned out their neighbours’ televisions.

Even the local postman and a woman, who walked past the house taking her child to school, complained and she was given a noise abatement order.

Now Mrs Cartwright is appealing a conviction by magistrates for breaching a noise abatement notice that banned the couple from ‘’shouting, screaming or vocalisation at such a level as to be a statutory nuisance”.

She is using Article 8 of the Human Rights Act to argue that she has a right to ”respect for her private and family life”.

Mrs Cartwright, of Washington, Tyne and Wear, is also arguing that she cannot help making the noise and has instructed a sexual psychologist to give evidence on her behalf.

Rachel O’Connor, a neighbour, said she was frequently late for work because she overslept having been awake most of the night because of the noise.

”It is not very pleasant living there and it has been quite stressful,” she told the court.

”I always feel intimidated living there. I was aware of it when I first moved in but I did not believe it would be this bad.”

Specialist equipment installed in Miss O’Connor’s flat by Sunderland City Council recorded noise levels of between 30 to 40 decibels, with the highest being 47 decibels.

Marion Dixon, an environmental health manager with the council, told the hearing what happened when the Cartwrights were confronted by the council with the neighbours’ complaints.

”Mr Cartwright held his head in his hands but Mrs Cartwright seemed to find it quite amusing,” she said.

”I told them at the time that the council found this extremely serious and was considering serving them with a noise abatement notice.

”She was adamant she could not stop the noise and had always done it.”

The case continues

Since I had a Bisexual theme going on with my last post, I thought this sexy woman and her T-shirt were quite appropriate.  It appears that this beautiful woman’s indulging of Sapphic lust had thus convinced her to make the full transition from being bi-curious to a fully certified bisexual.  Good for her!

In my last post I displayed a few erotic images by some ancient Hindu artists that portrayed Sacred Group Sex.  Here are a few more pieces of erotic art I found by these same artists showing groups of women making love in their sacred embraces.  This artwork is a remarkably sensual portrayal of how beautiful and sacred the female embrace can be.

While many people today who look at this images might think these women are Lesbians, I believe they are in fact bisexual.  These Hindu artists show men and women in many different sexual configurations practicing sacred sex: one man & one woman, one man and many women, one woman and many men, many men and many women, man & man, many women together and many men together.  The interesting thing is that all the various configurations are shown in the same sacred and erotic light.   There does not appear to be any favoritism shown  towards any type of sexual orientation.   One gets the impression that these devotees were very comfortable in any sexual configuration.   Based on what I see here I would have to conclude that these Hindu were very comfortable with  female and even male bisexuality.   What a huge contrast to the disdain bisexuals are shown today!

For most of us, when we think of having group sex, swinging usually comes to mind.  But even for our seemingly sexually liberated society, the notion of having group sex is still a highly controversial and taboo subject.  However, for the ancient Hindus they did not have such hang-ups. The Hindus have been enjoying the pleasures of group sex for centuries, and even believed the practice to be sacred. The Hindus developed many sacred Tantric and Kama Sutra ceremonies that involved group sex. The following images are a few examples of these sacred sex practices expressed through erotic art. While this erotica is very sensual and explicit in its detail; it does convey a profound sense of beauty and sacredness that the Hindus associated with the practice of group sex.

Or-gy-an-iz-er  [awr-jee-ahn-ny-zer]

–noun

An essential person who organizes orgies, esp, one who forms and organizes large and lavish gatherings of people.

Take a read of the following article from Gloucester, England where City Council turned down a swing club application over ‘moral concerns’:

Council turns down swinger club bid - The Press Association - September, 1^st,  2009

A city was saved from turning into “Sodom and Gomorrah” after a planning committee refused an application to convert a Grade II-listed building into a swingers’ club, protesters have said.

Planners had recommended an application to turn the historic New County Hotel, a 170-year-old building in Gloucester, into a private members’ sex club, complete with “fetish room for adult enjoyment”.

But Gloucester City councillors denied the application – much to the glee of a dozen or so objectors present at the meeting – on grounds that the city centre location was unsuitable and contrary to planning policy.

The planning application stated: “The private members’ club would comprise an exclusive venue for people with alternative sexual lifestyles such as gay men and women, bisexual men and women, transvestites, cross-dressers, cross-genders, variables and swingers.” And despite it being narrowly refused on planning grounds with six votes to five, those who objected saw it as a “triumph for common sense”.

Susan Johnson, who addressed the committee on behalf of those who stood against the plans, said she found the application “revolting and repugnant”.

Addressing the committee, she said: “All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing. You are the good men and women of Gloucester. Please vote against the proposal.”

After the meeting, Ms Johnson added: “I didn’t use the words Sodom and Gomorrah, but I feel that this would have been the thin end of the wedge, which would only lead to Gloucester turning into that. I’m not homophobic, but I can love people and hate their activities. I can still hate the homosexual act. And I certainly hate adultery.”

The application has increasingly courted controversy over the last few weeks, and at the beginning of the committee meeting, held at the city council offices in Gloucester Docks, a pack of “late submissions” were handed out.

The comments strongly voiced objections to the application on moral grounds – which under planning policy guidelines can not influence a decision to approve or reject plans. But many of the comments were derided as homophobic and did not win any support from the councillors, despite the final outcome.

Coun Mary Smith (L, Matson and Robinswood), who voted against the proposal to reject the application, said: “I’m absolutely appalled by some of these comments. I don’t think I’ve ever read anything so homophobic. I’m saddened to think that we’ve not moved on at all.”

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Susan Johnson, the leading protester of the swing club, cited the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah as her principle reason for opposing the club’s application. She believes that Gloucester, a city of 125,000 people, would suffer the same fate as Sodom and Gomorrah should the swing club’s application be approved.  Having read through Susan’s comments, I wondered if she really knew what goes on in her own neighbourhood.   To find the answer, I did a bit of research on what the good citizens of Gloucester do in their spare time and it seems they can be quite adventerous.

I logged onto www.adultfriendfinder.com, the worlds larges sex personals site, and checked the number sex ads for the City of Gloucester.  This following is what I found:

• 13,200 men looking for women sex partner
• 1,728 men looking for couples sex partners
• 1,141 men looking for group sex partners
• 805 men looking for men sex partner
• 322 men seeking 2 men couples sex partners
• 546 men seeking TS/TV/TG sex partner

• 809 women looking for men sex partners
• 519 women seeking women sex partners
• 216 women seeking couples sex partners
• 132 women seeking 2 women couples sex partners
• 97 women seeking group sex partners
• 28 women seeing TS/TV/TG sex partners

• 200 couples seeking men sex partner
• 687 couples seeking women sex partner
• 500 couples looking for couples sex partners
• 167 couples seeking group sex partners
• 27 couples seeking TS/TV/TG sex partners

• 21 TS/TV/TG looking for men sex partner
• 35 TS/TV/TG looking for women sex partner
• 12 TS/TV/TG looking for group sex partners
• 20 TS/TV/TG looking for couples sex partners

Truth is often stranger than fiction and looking at the scale of these numbers, it appears that the citizens of Gloucester are having a lot of sinful sex.   There are a total of 21,500 sex personals for a population of only 125,000, which works out to 1 sex ad for every 6 people.  And remember, these are the sex personals from only one website, there are many more to chose from.   I doubt Susan Johnson truly realizes the scale of  ’sinning’ going on in Gloucester,  because if she did,  she should probably reconsider her place of residence.  You may never know when fire and brimstone will start raining down on your sinful city!  Someone should also remind her not to look back as she is leaving town.

While, Christian Fundamentalists, like Susan Johnson, will often threaten their opponents with Sodom and Gomorrah like destruction, there is not a single shred of evidence to suggest that swinging or any other related behaviour (insert your favourite forbidden sex act here), will cause natural disasters. I am currently working an in-depth investigation of the Sodom and Gomorrah story. As part of my investigation, I completed a detailed analysis of whether or not God destroyed cities for committing sodomite sins. My findings clearly demonstrate there is zero correlation between sexual sins and the occurrence of calamities/disasters. If you would wish to see more of my findings, please check the following article:

There are those who believe that having sex outside of marriage is cheating, this woman has a slightly different opinion on the matter!

My last post about the 4-play swing club in Edmonton got me thinking about some of the mass hysteria and misconceptions that surround swinging. If you want to see what I am talking about go find someone you know, tell them you are a swinger and watch them squirm. Usually, when someone discovers you are a swinger they react with shock and disbelief. Based on their misconceptions about swingers, they assume you have lost all your morals and should be avoided. In short, they think you have become an out of control sex maniac. If they did not react negatively right away, they may still be uncomfortable around you. There is a good chance they will not know how deal with you in the future. Of course, some people might respond by saying right on or oh that is so cool! However, that is the exception rather than the rule.

Aside from the adverse reactions, once people are aware that you engage in swinging, they most likely will become suspicious of you. They are afraid you might be scheming ways to have sex with them. We have experienced this first hand. We had some vanilla friends stay over for a weekend. They knew we were into in swinging, and they worried we might be up to no good during their visit. There was a scary moment for one of our guests. As our male friend was leaving the washroom wearing only a small towel, he saw me working on my laptop. He became worried that if I noticed his near naked state I might try to jump him. Notwithstanding the fact that I am straight, I would never force myself onto anyone male or female. Once our friends realized we were not going to jump them they became much more relaxed around us. We would never invite friends, acquaintances, or co-workers to swing with us. Most people are just not willing to do such things.

Swinging is not about manipulating peopling into having sex or seducing your friends. Swinging is about getting together with a group of sexy like-minded people who have freely chosen to have some sexy fun together. That is why it is called consensual sex! However, the critics would have you think that swingers are morally bankrupt individuals who know no boundaries. The notion that I or other like-minded people would force someone into having sex is ludicrous. I would never compromise a friendship or someone’s confidence in me just so I could have sex with them. And besides, it is so much easier and more fun to have sex with people who voluntarily choose to be with me than trying to deceive or force someone into the act.

I came across a fascinating article in news the other day about the reopening of the  4-Play swing club in Edmonton, Alberta.  4-Play had just relocated their club to a new location within the same neighbourhood. As part of the relocation process, 4-play applied to the City of Edmonton for a development permit.  The new development permit would allow 4-Play to operate their club in the new location. The approval process caused a lot of controversy because some residents complained that the swing club would increase drug use, violence and general nuisance within the neighbourhood. The City of Edmonton did not find any basis to these claims and approved 4-Play’s development permit. I have reprinted the article below:

Edmonton swing club is harmless fun, says owner - By  Andrew Hanon, Sun Media - 18th July 2009

Joe leans casually against the bar and shakes his head.

“People think we just come in here and rip off our clothes,” he says, glancing around at the small crowd scattered in the lounge. “As you can see, it’s not like that at all.”

It’s Saturday night at 4-Play, one of Edmonton’s two swing clubs. It’s early and people are still filtering in.

They range in age from their 20s to about 60. Most are in their 40s and early 50s. The majority are couples, but a few singles are mingling.

Most people’s casual dress would fit in at any bar in the city. A few women dress more provocatively — one is in a tight corset while another wears a bikini and chap-like pants.

The club, which opened a few weeks ago in its new facility at 10120 156 St., has tight security. Visitors must be buzzed in at the front door, and there’s a sign-in sheet at the entrance. If you haven’t called ahead to get on the list for that night, you don’t get in, even if you’re one of the 200 paid members.

Privacy is paramount here — two video screens in the lounge flash reminders that cameras are forbidden and media are only allowed in on condition that nothing they report can lead to people being identified.

Swingers, says one long-time 4-play member, “are the gays of the 21st Century. People hate us and try to stop us doing what we like to do.”

Two women say that they were fired when their coworkers found out they were swingers.

When the club first applied to city hall to renovate the empty Jasper Cinema earlier this year, some residents and nearby businesses went ballistic, saying the club would bring chaos to the area.

Some warned of drug use, increased vandalism and out-of-control noise at night.

“Do you see any of that going on?” asked Joe, who owns the club with his wife Marie.

There’s no question that the atmosphere is sexually charged, but unlike most other bars in Edmonton, there’s no sense of predatory menace. No one seems worried that they might not score tonight.

“Nah,” says one tall blonde. “Everyone understands. If you meet someone and you click, fine. If not, you’re going to go home with your partner anyway.”

A man explains that here, the women call the shots. It’s entirely up to them who they have sex with, and any man who is disrespectful or too pushy is quickly shown the door.

The “play area” is upstairs. There are rooms where people can have sex in private and a room with a swing and a few other, uh, gizmos.

But the room most people talk about contains “Goliath,” a massive bed that holds four queen-sized mattresses. There’s a bench at the foot of Goliath, for people who just want to watch — or if they need to rest.

Alcohol is strictly forbidden on the second floor, and free condoms are never far from reach.

“I’ve never gone upstairs to play,” says one woman. “For me, attraction is mostly mental. I need to get to know people before I have sex with them. And I’m picky.”

Marie agrees. She likes to trade partners, but only in the privacy of her own home. “The club is all about social interaction.”

By 10 p.m. most people are in the lounge, speed-dating in pairs. A few couples are on the small dance floor.

Once in a while men will step away from their partners, saunter up behind other women and nuzzle their necks or grind against them. The women never appear shocked or offended. A few will turn and make out with the men, while their husbands, unconcerned, continue chatting with other people.

Over the next couple of hours, a handful of “couples” will wander upstairs to the playrooms, returning 15-30 minutes later.

Most people, however, stay in the lounge. By 1:30 a.m. the place is emptying out.

Shortly after 2 a.m., Joe and Marie are gently shooing the stragglers outside.

“That’s it,” Marie says. “That’s pretty much all that goes on here. Is it really that bad?”

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The challenges that 4-Play face in overcoming opposition are not uncommon among swing clubs in Canada.  For years, Canadian swing clubs were often subject to court challenges and legal harassment.  All this nonsense thankfully came to end in 2005 when the Supreme Court of Canada legalized swing clubs. The court’s decision was based on evidence showing that swing clubs do not cause harm to the community. While the Supreme Court of Canada did not see any problem with swing clubs, there is still a lot of mass hysteria out there surrounding swing clubs and swinging in general.

In Canada, social conservatives tend to protest loudly against the granting of any sexual rights or freedoms to gays, lesbians, bisexuals, transsexuals or swingers. These social conservatives believe sexual morality should be regulated by the state and should conform to their narrow range of “acceptable” practices. The following are a few comments posted by social conservatives on the CBC website protesting the 2005 Supreme Court Decision:

How in the world could it not affect society especially when allowed in a public place? The more things I read like this the more it embarrasses me to be a part of a country that would allow this type of behaviour.[sic]

With all the diseases, violence and chances that not everyone would be a willing participant I can’t imagine how it will not effect [sic] society.

—Linda | London, Ontario

I’m disturbed at this ruling. Though it does not affect me personally as I would never go to one of these clubs, it bothers me that the federal courts are condoning this sexually deviant behaviour [sic].

Why must people indulge themselves in sexual practices such as these? I’m ashamed that we are arrogant enough as a nation to make silly statements like “keep the government out of the bedroom” when people treat sex as just another desire to be indulged in rather than a sign of commitment and love between two individuals.

—Joel Bain | Lions Bay, B.C.

So, what other activities will the Supreme Court approve of because in their opinion does not cause harm to society? And what makes them experts in determining what constitutes harm? Our country is slipping into moral decay, with people cheering on as the authorities pave the way.

To simply say let people do what they want is potentially destructive to society. For hundreds of years, societies have recognized the harm that comes with certain types of behaviour [sic], such as substance abuse, hostility, and immorality.

Those who support immoral activities are short sighted and not looking to the long term strength in the fabric of society. Moral decay was one contributing reason that the Roman empire fell.

—Jim | Vancouver

Are swingers such morally decrepit people causing chaos in society as these posters suggest? I believe this is not true at all. Rather, I would argue that negative comments made about swinging are made by people who have positively no clue what they are talking about. People who go to swing clubs do not pay for sex, no one is treated as a sex object and no one is pressured to have sex. Swinging takes place in private among those who freely consented of their own free will.

While we have not paid a visit to the 4-play club in Edmonton, we have visited a number of swing clubs in the Calgary During any of our visits to these clubs, I have never witnessed any drug use, violence, or unsavoury criminal activity. Swing clubs are not even licensed to sell alcohol. If you want to drink any alcohol, you have to bring your own (BYOB). If drugs were present, or there was criminal activity going on we certainly would not want to be there.

When you visit a club for the first time you are usually given a tour of the premises by the host. During your tour, the host will explain club rules to you. For example, the most important rule is No means No! Swinging is a world in which women reign supreme and it is all about the women. While this may be hard for many to believe, this is how it operates. The beauty of this system lies in its simplicity. Since women have the pussy, they make the rules! Any men caught pestering or pressuring a woman to have sex after they have been told NO will soon find their ass out on the street. I have never seen any men get ejected since they usually understand their place in the scheme of things.

What kinds of people participate in swinging? Popular opinion suggests that only creeps, weirdos and social outcasts participate in swinging. Nothing can be further from the truth. One of the remarkable things we have found to be true about this alternative lifestyle is that swingers come from all walks of life. We have personally met swingers who are firefighters, engineers, truck drivers, stay at home moms, lawyers, receptionists, programmers, accountants, business owners, doctors, nurses, school teachers, writers, contractors, oil workers, farmers, florists, dental hygienists, graphic designers, hairdressers, mechanics, librarians, real estate agents, equipment operators, electricians, university professors, shop assistants, civil servants, managers, carpenters, entrepreneurs, cameraman and architects. Well, I think you get the picture!

These people are not exactly what you describe as sleazy dregs of society. Swingers are your normal, average run of the mill people, who have families, pay taxes and obey the law. They could be your neighbour, your friend, or your co-worker and you would be no less the wiser. The only difference with swingers is they like to have a bit of erotic fun every once in a while. So if being a family oriented, law abiding, taxpaying, responsible citizen who likes to have some extracurricular activities makes me a deviant, then so be it!

This of course will not be my last word on this topic. In some future posts, I will delve deeper into many of the issues that surround this alternative lifestyle. There are many beliefs and social taboos that a person must overcome before they are able to participate. I will go deeper and explore what those issues are. There are also issues surrounding sexually transmitted diseases and safety that need to be discussed. One of the above comments cited an argument about moral decay leading to societal collapse. This is one argument I will certainly deal in the future showing that it is unfounded by historical fact.