Here is my second part of my discussion of AFF’s Male to Female ratio.  If you have read the first post you might have gotten the idea that things look pretty grim out there for men hoping to find some action on AFF.  While this may be the case for those living outside of North America.  But for those living in the UK, USA or Canada if we look carefully at the numbers on AFF some interesting things start to emerge.

In the time I have spent on AFF I have noticed some interesting differences in how men and women interact on this site.  These patterns skew the M/F ratio to such a degree that they make those numbers a lot less meaningful or even irrelevant.  The two key differences that I have noted are as follows:

• Male members can be very sloppy with their profiles often abandoning them while Female members are much more careful with their profiles deleting or turning them off when they are finished with the site.
• Female members tend to be active for much shorter periods of time than Male members.

So why are Male members more sloppy and Female members are generally not?  Besides stating a fact of nature this phenomenon is clearly evident on AFF.  For example, with all the vast numbers of Men Seeking Women profiles, a large portion of them have not been logged into by their owners for months or even years.  Often these profiles have been abandoned by their owners because they have just given up.  AFF does not purge abandoned profiles from their listings and they include these profiles in their total member count just to keep the numbers high.  It is pretty common to come across Male member profiles that have not been active for some time.  For further confirmation of what I am describing let us refer to AFF’s official method of defining a member:

A “member” is a user account which has been logged in within approximately 2 years, has an available profile, and has an active email account

Clearly AFF is intent on counting member profiles that have not been used for up to two years.  I would call that counting abandoned profiles!  Part of AFF’s marketing strategy to sign up new members is to entice them with 30+ million profiles they have.  Too keep those numbers high, they need to include a lot abandoned profiles.  To AFF’s credit, the above definition can be found in the small print at the bottom of every AFF webpage.  Though I suspect most people do not really understand how it impacts AFF’s overall numbers.

So how many abandoned profiles are included in AFF’s member totals.  Firstly, I would define an abandoned profile as one that has not been logged into for three months or more.  Based on my searches of the AFF database (AFF does not make this task easy) I figure that anywhere between 50% to over 75% of the Male member profiles have been abandoned.  That adds up to a lot of phantom competition for any men hoping to hook up on AFF.

Women on the other hand are much less likely to abandon their profiles.  Women, who tend to be more careful about their online identity, are more likely to turn off their profile or delete them outright when they are not using it.  It is quite common to come across a link to a Female profile to then discover it has been either turned off or does not even exist anymore.

So what does this all mean?  Men who look at AFF’s horrible 10:1 M/F ratio may figure why bother?  But if you look carefully at the Male competition you will realise that most of them are not active and have abandoned their profiles.  Conversely, Female members are more likely to turn off or delete their profiles.  The combined effect of these two patterns drastically increases the number of male profiles and decreases the number of female profiles thus inflating the M/F ratio significantly.

The other factor that that skews the M/F ratio is the relative activity levels of Male and Female members.  It is very easy for a Female member to find a suitable match on AFF.  That should be hardly surprising!  In just a few weeks she can find all the fuck buddies she will ever need.  Once she has set up her speed dial with all her new friends she no longer needs AFF and as such turns off or deletes her profile.  Men on the other hand have to keep their profiles active for months or even years to gain any measure of success.  I have seen this pattern repeat itself over and over again on AFF.  Over the course of a year you will get thousands of Female members (in a given area) come and go but their numbers will not be reflected in the total member count because their profiles have been already deleted or turned off.

Let me illustrate this point further.  Let us say that you check the number of Women Seeking Men profiles in your city and find the total number is 12,000 listings.  That will be 12,000 listings today, but if you were to add in the number of deleted or turned off female profiles over the course of the year it might add up to 20,000 listings.

The combination of abandoned Male member profiles, deleted or turned off Female member profiles and the relative activity of male and female members has vastly inflated the numbers of male members and under estimated the number of female members.  If I were to guess on the percentage of active members (a member who has logged in during the past three months or less) as a percentage of the total quoted figures that AFF provides, it would probably be in the range of 10-20%.  The reason AFF continues in doing this slight of hand is so that inflated numbers keep the new member signups keep coming in.

In reality, the M/F ratio is not the 10:1 or 15:1 that I talked about in my last post.  It might be 5:1 or even better but AFF’s search engine does not provide me with enough traction to put a definite number to it.  This news should be encouraging to those men who are hoping to hook up.  With some persistence and patience there are some good chances for success for men on this site.  However, there are a lot of things that many of the male members do to completely rule themselves out of contention.  But that discussion will be for another day.

This will be a two part post.  In the first post I will discuss the sometimes brutal truth about AFF’s Male to Female ratio.  It is not pretty, but the numbers can be deceiving.  In the second post I will attempt to soften the blow by describing ways in which the Male to Female ratio has been badly skewed in the wrong direction.  There is hope for men on AFF as I would argue there are more women on this site then there appears to be at first glance.

One of the biggest complaints about the Adultfriendfinder (AFF) website is the Male to Female ratio (M/F).   Most commonly when a new member signs up, they soon discover there are vastly more men than women.   This realization can often be very discouraging to the male members and prompts many of them to give up on the site soon after signing up.  But what is the real M/F ratio on AFF?   I have seen many numbers being quoted ranging from an almost utopian 70:30 reported on the Dating Service website to a dreadful 17:1 ratio reported in some member reviews.  However, the most common figure I seem to come across for the M/F ratio is 10:1.

I believe there can be several different ways at looking M/F ratio on AFF.  There is the apparent M/F ratio which can be fairly easy to calculate and can very quite a bit from place to place.  I will examine in detail the apparent M/F ratio for a bunch of cities throughout North America, Europe and Asia.

Then there is the actual M/F ratio which is much harder to quantify.   The actual M/F ratio is more like a moving target and not too easy to figure out.  Maybe you will better understand what I mean with the following illustration.  The apparent M/F ratio is a lot like a conveyor belt of chocolate bars being fed to pack of hungry wolves; there is a pack of wolves hoping to get a chance to scarf down a few chocolate bars that fall from the conveyor.  The number of wolves remains relatively constant but the number of chocolate bars on the conveyor belt varies over time.  If we were to compare the total number of wolves to the total number of chocolate bars that traveled on the conveyor belt over a set period of time, we would find the ratio of those two numbers would be different than the apparent M/F ratios we find.  Well, I think you get the picture.  I will attempt to elaborate more on how this phenomenon works on AFF, but first I will review our apparent M/F ratios.

When calculating the apparent M/F ratios on AFF, I made a few assumptions.  I will be basing all my M/F ratios on the ‘Men Seeking Women’ and ‘Women Seeking Men’ categories.  I have excluded all the gay men, lesbian women and Male/Female couples from the ratio as they are seeking different kinds of casual relationships and should not be included.  Using these assumptions I have calculated the M/F ratio for a number of North American, European, Middle Eastern and Asian locations:

The above numbers show quite a spread in AFF’s M/F ratio ranging from 7:1 in Japan to 59:1 in India.  The English speaking countries of Canada, the United Kingdom and the United States have the best M/F ratio with a range of 10:1 to 16:1.   If we consider only the English speaking countries and that the majority of the listings are in the United Sates these numbers would seem to confirm the 10:1 M/F ratio.

Interestingly enough, Japan does better than all the English speaking countries with a decent 7:1 M/F ratio.  Leaving Japan aside, once we leave the English speaking countries the wheels fall off for men just about everywhere else.  Starting with a 15:1 M/F ratio in Hong Kong it falls to a disastrous 59:1 M/F ratio in India.  Even in many of the very sexually liberal countries of Europe the M/F ratio starts out horribly at 16:1 in the UK and falls to a pathetic 36:1 M/F ratio in the Netherlands.  The poor international M/F ratios would indicate that AFF is really only a practical option for English speaking people in the United States, the United Kingdom and Canada.  I believe international results speak for themselves, and they are a lost cause. Their poor M/F ratios are more likely an indicator that people in those countries are probably using dating sites developed in their own language.

Considering the above numbers, AFF’s M/F ratio really does not get much better than 10:1.  Even with a M/F ratio of 10:1 things look quite bleak out there.  Those are steep odds even for the most masochistic of men.  However, all is not lost as I would argue that the actual M/F ratio is better than the 10:1 listed above.  In my next post on this topic, I will elaborate in more detail how this is the case.

On the AdultFriendFinder.com (AFF) website you will most likely find the results of a ‘Purity Test’ on everyone’s profile.   The purity test is composed of 100 yes/no questions which will determine how naughty or nice you have been thus far in your life.  Once you complete the test you will receive a score out of 100%.  For every question you answered yes to you will subtract 1%.  For example if you answered yes to 55 questions your score will be 45 or 45%.  The lower your purity score the more naughty you have been.  Conversely, the higher your score the more sexually pure you are.   Completing the purity test is lots of fun and allows you to compare your score with other members and hopefully impress them how naughty you are.

When you sign up for an AFF profile you have an opportunity to fill out a purity test and then have the results displayed prominently on your profile.  There is a special form on AFF which displays the questions.  Since we cannot look at the test unless you are a member I have listed the Purity Test questions below:

“Have you ever . . .”

1. French kissed (tongued)?
2. been on a blind date?
3. had or given a hickey?
4. engaged in foreplay?
5. read a pornographic book or magazine?
6. masturbated to a picture?
7. sucked an MOS’s (member of the opposite sex) breasts or had your breasts sucked?
8. seen a pornographic movie?
9. gone coed skinny-dipping?
10. committed an act of exhibitionism (moon, streak, flash)?
11. masturbated?
12. purchased contraceptives?
13. engaged in foreplay for more than two hours consecutively?
14. been shopping inside a porn shop?
15. showered or bathed with an MOS?
16. shaved your pubic hair?
17. committed an act of voyeurism?
18. had sex with a virgin?
19. had sex in a car?
20. had sex outdoors?
21. experienced a lap dance?
22. gone to a strip club or porn house?
23. performed a strip tease for an MOS?
24. met with someone for sex only?
25. had sex non-stop for an hour?
26. interrupted a couple having sex?
27. jerked off or fingered by an MOS?
28. jerked off or fingered an MOS?
29. photographed a MOS naked?
30. been naked in photos taken by a MOS?
31. given oral sex to a MOS?
32. done 69?
33. had sex in three or more positions?
34. experimented sexually before puberty?
35. been caught masturbating?
36. masturbated with another person in the room?
37. watched another person masturbate?
38. watched another party have sex?
39. had sex in a public place?
40. had sex during menstruation?
41. gotten a woman pregnant, been pregnant?
42. (arranged, had) an abortion?
43. have a child or children?
44. had a V.D. test?
45. had a V.D.?
46. orgasmed three or more times in one night?
47. traveled over 100 miles just to get laid?
48. cheated on a boyfriend/girlfriend or spouse?
49. picked up a stranger for sex?
50. had sex with a member that you’ve met on Adult FriendFinder?
51. had sex with a MOS with an age difference of 10 years or more?
52. had sex with a MOS with an age difference of 20 years or more?
53. put an inanimate object up your vagina or anus?
54. had anal sex?
55. had sex in front of a third party?
56. had an alcoholic drink?
57. been drunk?
58. used alcohol to lower an MOS’s resistance?
59. had an alcoholic blackout?
60. smoked tobacco?
61. smoked pot or hashish?
62. used LSD, PCP, heroin, or Mushrooms?
63. used cocaine?
64. used three or more recreational drugs in one night?
65. been arrested?
66. been convicted of a crime?
67. accepted money to remove any clothing?
68. gotten laid on the first date?
69. had a threesome?
70. had a foursome?
71. attended any of the orgy or swinger parties held by our members?
72. rimmed a partner?
73. Sought out a hooker?
74. engaged with a hooker or gigolo?
75. had sex with two MOSes at the same time?
76. had sex with two different people separately in a 24 hr period?
77. videotaped yourself having sex?
78. accepted money to perform a sexual act?
79. gave or received sex with a strap-on?
80. slept with a married MOS?
81. been engaged?
82. been married?
83. had sex with a friend of a current boyfriend/girlfriend or spouse?
84. had sex with a relative of a current boyfriend/girlfriend or spouse?
85. had sex with more than 10 different people in your life?
86. had sex with more than 30 different people in your life?
87. had sex with more than 50 different people in your life?
88. had sex with an unconscious person?
89. been propositioned by a homosexual?
90. accepted?
91. kissed a member of the SAME sex?
92. been masturbated by a member of the SAME sex?
93. been orally stimulated by a member of the SAME sex?
94. had sex with a member of the SAME sex?
95. lived in a threesome (sex with 2 others) for a month or more?
96. been involved in an orgy or swingers party?
97. engaged in bondage?
98. engaged in sadomasochism for sexual enjoyment?
99. engaged in group (5 or more people) sex?
100. recommended Adult FriendFinder to another person?

If you did the test and would like to compare yourself to others here is the breakdown:

• Women are 51.3% pure on average.
• Men are 52.8% pure on average.
• Couples are 41.4% pure on average.

If you are curious how we scored on the test we came out at only 18% pure, not too shabby! The lowest score I have seen was around 5….that is pretty debauched.  The highest score I have seen on the site was from a 21 year old woman who had a purity score of 89%.  This woman had a serious profile in which she described her many fantasies in fascinating detail.  But unfortunately she was unable to act on any of them as she lived in wonderfully tolerant Medieval Kingdom of Saudi Arabia where even logging onto AFF would most likely get her 100 lashes from the Mutawwa’in (religious police) if she got caught.

This is the first in a new series of posts based on the sex personals website AdultFriendFinder.com (AFF).  This new series will discuss many of the inner workings of this site as well as some of the fascinating observations I have made while I have been on AFF.  If you would like to get a peek into the intriguing world of AdultFriendFinder.com, then please read on!

What is AdultFriendFinder.com?

AFF is the most popular sex personals site on the internet with well over 30 million members!  Based on Alexa, it is consistently ranked between the 40th and 60th most visited website on the Internet.   If you are looking for love, romance or an exclusive relationship, AdultFriendFinder.com will probably not be for you.  While it is possible to find your true love on this site (I personally know of several couples who have met on AFF) most who join AFF are seeking casual sex with people of the opposite or same sex, or some combination thereof.  The massive user base is very enticing to prospective members and AFF provides many interactive features and membership levels to help assist in your quest to get laid. 

AdultFriendFinder.com Features

AFF has many features and tools that help to increase your odds in making a successful hookup.  So without any further ado I have listed AFF’s many features and tools below:

• As already mentioned, AFF has the largest number of members of any sex personal website on the net with over 30 million members.  This helps to provide you with many chances to find active profiles in your area (as long as you do not live in a village less than 50 people)
• Once you become a member you have access to hundreds of thousands of erotic pictures and explicit images.
• AFF allows you to fill out as much or as little of your profile as you like.  Your profile is very customizable.  Many members have created some very amazing and beautiful profiles that match their personality and interests.  In my opinion, it is worth joining for at least a month just to see how people live their lives.
• Private and public chat rooms are available for members.  The AFF chat rooms are often very busy and you can usually find someone online in your area to chat with.
• AFF has its own Email and instant messaging system that allows you to interact with other members
• At any given point in time it is possible to choose from hundreds and even thousands of members playing on their webcams
• There are hundreds of thousands of recorded member videos that have been uploaded and are available for viewing.
• There is an online magazine area complete with thousands of erotic stories and member experiences.
• You will have access to tens of thousands of member blogs, many of which are filled with some pretty amazing content.  This is a feature I find pretty nice and many people join just to be able to view the blogs.
• As a member you are able to create a hotlist of members you like, see who has viewed your profile, see who has hotlisted and winked at you and create an ignore list of members you want to block.
• AFF has its own online Sex Academy with courses that allow you to brush up and expand your sex skills.
• You can turn your profile on or off as you desire.
• You have complete privacy protection.  No one will know who you are unless you disclose this information to another member on your own.
• There are tens thousands of forum groups which you can join depending on the topic that interests you.  Whatever fetish or desire you have (which is legal) you will most likely find a group of like minded people on AFF to discuss and share your passions.

The Scoop on Getting Laid!

While AFF has many great features and a lot of great content, hooking up is not as easy as doing 1, 2, 3.  It is certainly not as easy to get laid as AFF’s advertising makes it out to be.   It does take some effort, skill and persistence to find a match.   I have briefly outlined some of my thoughts and observations on the operation of AFF below:

• With so many features and content on AFF there are a certain percentage of people who sign up only to participate in the blogs, magazine, groups and forums.  They have no interest in hooking up with anyone for casual sex.  Not everyone on this site is there for casual sex.
• The free membership is pretty much useless; this is especially true if you are a guy.  The free membership helps to provide you a feel for the site, but any real interaction with other members is very limited if not impossible.  If you are a woman free membership will probably work as you can always count on receiving hoards of emails from the many men on AFF.  However, if you really want to use some or all of the features AFF has to offer a paid membership will be necessary
• The “apparent” guy to girl ratio on AFF is about 10:1.  You can easily calculate this by comparing the numbers of male versus female profiles in your area.  I personally believe there are more women on the site than this and I have some good reasons why I believe this is the case.  I will explain this whole phenomenon in more detail in an upcoming post.
• It can be very challenging (some will even say almost impossible) for a guys to hook up on AFF.  This is especially true if you are a lazy guy who does not want to put in the effort to figure out how pick up women on AFF!
• The flip side of the high girl to guy ratio is that women will often get an avalanche of emails from prospective guys.
• Guys joining the site sometimes make fake female profiles in order to play a cruel joke on the other members or to live out their feminine fantasies.
• Since AFF is a great place to watch sexy people in action, many people will join just to watch the action.  These people are voyeurs and they are not interested in hooking up.    While these voyeurs may never think or believe they could live like this in real life, they can at lease live out their fantasies vicariously through the lives of others.  AFF provides voyeurs with the ability to watch what goes on in a very sexually charged environment with virtually no risk to themselves.
• Your realistic chances of  hooking up on AFF are as follows (in order of success)

1. 1. Single Woman
   2. Married (non-cheating) woman
   3. Married (cheating) Woman
   4. Groups of 2 or more women……..There is really not much difference between 1, 2, 3 & 4.  Being a woman and having a pulse is all that you pretty much need to get laid on AFF.
   5. Lesbian Woman
   6. Gay Man…..being lesbian or gay affords you pretty good chances of hooking up
   7. Couples (Swingers)
   8. Transvestite & Transgender.
   9. Groups of 2 or more couples
   10. Groups of 2 or more men
   11. - no luck
   12. - Its getting harder
   13. - Shit, this is difficult
   14. - this really sucks
   15. - Oh Shit!
   16. - Where are the real women?
   17. Single Guy
   18. - This is bullshit!
   19. - What kind of bullshit is this?
   20. - Uggghhhh!
   21. Married (non-cheating) man
   22. Married (cheating) man

• If your category falls within 1 and 10 your chances of hooking up and getting laid are very good.  By figuring out the site features and some consistent effort you should be able to find a match.  As I am sure you have noticed single men and married men are way down the list.  Some effort, skill and persistence are required for success.  I have had success with No. 7 (fairly easy) as well as No. 21 (very difficult).  In a future post I will discuss in more detail how this all works and how you can find success on AFF.

• While being a guy on AFF can really suck big time, you should remember that most of your competition (all those other guys) are doing a pretty lousy job of trying to hookup.  Most of AFF’s bad reviews come from guys who have failed miserably on this site.  The problem is that the level of effort most guys put into AFF is pathetic and then they wonder why no women are interested on going on a date with them.  Hint Hint…..having a picture of your dick as your profile picture (as nice as you think it might be) just does not get the ladies fired up.  More on all this later!
• Game Players and No Shows.  Another problem with this site is that there are a lot of people here who are not very serious about meeting.  They love to wink, email, chat blog or cam but when it comes down to the nitty gritty of actually meeting they just can’t get up the nerve.  Or they were never serious in the first place.   These types of members are a big waste of your time and effort and it is not always easy to tell them apart from genuine people who want to meet for real
• Getting Spammed.  There is some big potential to get spammed on this site.  This has not happened to me personally but I know a lot of other members have complained about this issue.
• There are quite a few inactive and abandoned profiles that AFF does NOT purge on a regular basis.  While this may be the case it is pretty easy to sort the inactive profiles from the active ones.

Summary

While AFF is a site that is mostly about finding a match for casual sex, it is so much more than that.  If you take the time and effort to understand how the site works you can easily spend hours and hours immersing yourself in the various communities and fetishes that AFF supports.  AFF is a vast community of sexually minded people who love to explore their sexual desires and fantasies in a relatively safe and positive environment.  While AFF does have its pitfalls and challenges, a bit of effort will help you avoid most of the problems that people may encounter on this site.