My first experience with what can be described as Tantric sexual practices came during my teenage years back in the late 1980s.  These sexual practices helped me to achieve levels of sexual bliss and ecstasy beyond anything that I could have ever imagined.  However, what I learned initially did not come about as a result of intensive study of Tantric practices, but rather from some lucid self introspection and a few good insights.  Let me elaborate:

During the teenage years I was going through the angst of adolescence trying to find my own identity…..like everyone else does.  I had doubts about my sexual abilities.  This feeling was made worse by the fact that I was still a virgin all through High School.  Hey, I was shy, kind of geeky and introverted; not a very useful combination for getting laid!

Given my predicament, one of the challenges I faced was how to deal with the male macho bravado of my male peers.  All the guys talked the big game about their sexual exploits. Sound familiar? I was never sure if they are telling the truth or they were just giving everyone a line of BS.  Of course after High School I realized most of what was said was pure BS….but this insight did help me when I really needed it.

One thing I found particularly discomforting were the tales of guys who were quick to reload.  You know how the story goes; guy fucks woman, he cums, two minutes later he is ready for action again.  This cycle supposedly repeated itself many times. I was astonished by such ability.  How was it possible?  I could not even come close to doing this.  My reality was (and for the most part still is) that when I ejaculate just once, I am done!  It is over for me and I might as well go to sleep because it will be at best an hour and more like several hours before I can get it up again.  I felt quite inadequate when I compared myself to guys who had several rounds of ammunition.  On top of that there are all those jokes going around about men who last only 2 minutes during intercourse and then promptly fall asleep afterwards.

So what is one to do when you only get one shot?  I certainly did not want to be a one shot wonder whose moment of glory can be counted in seconds.  I considered my dilemma; there must be some way for me to do better?  Then I had one of my rare moments of adolescent clarity.  I figured if I only got one shot I better make it last!  In other words; instead of lasting 2 minutes during intercourse wouldn’t it be better to last half an hour?

So how did I come up with this idea?  While I was in High School I competed in all kinds of endurance sports like cross country running, track & field and Nordic skiing.  These sports require lots of endurance.  So I figured if I can train myself to run for long distances there must be someway to train myself to ‘last’ longer during sex.  After all, if I had the endurance to run a 10km race I should be able to figure out how to get some more sexual endurance.

Like any teenager I enjoyed masturbation. But over time I developed some bad habits.  I would often try to get to the end result (The Orgasm) the quickest way possible.  Three to five minutes sometimes.  It is well understood that this method of jerking-off can often create premature ejaculation problems in men.

So how did I develop better masturbation techniques?  Since I had no books or internet to refer to I had to figure things out on my own through trial and error.   Fortunately, I was able to use my sporting activities as another source of inspiration to help me to focus my efforts.

In endurance sports it is well known fact that if you push the pace too much you run the risk of getting tired too quickly and thus performing poorly.  The trick is to set a strong pace (your edge between comfort and over exertion) that you can maintain for the entire distance.  With practice you learn where your edge is and with some good consistent training you can push your edge to a higher level.  It is this logic that I applied to my masturbation technique.

I now concentrated on slowing down while I masturbated.  I slowed down my hand movements and took my time.   Over time I was able to figure out where my edge was between a highly aroused state and the point of no return (ejaculation).  As I would later realize this is the key to ejaculatory control.  Slowing down and paying attention to my body really helped me to understand how my ejaculatory reflexes worked.  Paying attention to my body came easier to me since I had grown accustomed to the practice through all my sporting activities.

Once I got a keen sense of where my edge was I practiced approaching my edge and just staying there.  I practiced on how long I could stay at my edge before ejaculating.  Within half a year I was able to masturbate and stay near my edge for 20, 30 and even 60 minutes without ejaculating.

I am going to digress for a moment to quickly discuss the physiology of my exercises.  To be able to discern where your edge is a man needs to strengthen his Pubococcygeus (PC) muscle.  The PC muscle is the hammock-like muscle that stretches from the pubic bone to the tail bone. The PC muscle controls urine flow and contracts during orgasm.  A strong PC muscle is indispensable for excellent ejaculatory control.

Unbeknownst to me at the time when I was starting my ejaculatory control practices I was also strengthening my PC muscle by leaps and bounds. By taking my time with my practices I was also exercising and strengthening my PC muscle (I frequently flexed my PC muscle during masturbation).  As I strengthened my PC muscle it allowed me to gain a greater awareness of where my edge was.  Once I got a good feeling where my edge was it gave me the ability to control my ejaculatory impulses with ease.

There are some misconceptions about how to use your PC muscle.  Some men think that if they flex their PC muscle real hard (at the point the feel themselves about to ejaculate) they can stop themselves from ejaculating. This does not work because they have already crossed the point of no return and they are already ejaculating..…Doh!    On top of that they will suppress the intensity of their orgasm and waste a perfectly good orgasm.  Once you cross that point of no return there is nothing that can be done to stop ejaculating……that is why it is called the point of no return!

Once I learned how to improve my ejaculatory control my confidence around sex improved dramatically.  Even though I still did not have sex with my first women yet I was absolutely certain I would have no problems with premature ejaculation when the moment did arrive.   When I did get laid for the first time it was a wonderful experience. While I was pretty nervous and excited beforehand; intercourse lasted well over 30 minutes. The encounter was a complete success for everyone involved!

That experience gave me absolute certainty and confidence in my abilities.  In the last 20 years I have almost never had any problems with ejaculatory control.  And if I did it was the result of physical exhaustion or extreme stress.  Let me add that for the past 20 years I also have taken great care in maintaining my ejaculatory control through continuous practices to exercise and strengthen my PC muscle.

When I got introduced to the world of Tantric sexuality I learned that one of its key components for male sexual mastery is ejaculation control.  Some of the techniques that I just described above are also used in Tantra to achieve ejaculatory control. There are many methods that can be used to strengthen your PC muscle.  I did it by flexing my PC muscle as I was slowly jerking-off.  There are several other ways to achieve the same end.  I found that my method worked best for me.  In an upcoming post I will put together some detailed instructions on how to strengthen the PC muscle.

However, there is more to Tantric male sexual mastery than just achieving ejaculatory control.  There are other components such as letting go of internal tensions, moving the Kundalini sexual energy throughout one’s body, being present, having breathe control and achieving full body and multiple male orgasms.  I am not an expert in all things Tantra.  But what I will be doing is adding posts describing my personal experiences with each one of these more advanced components of Tantric male sexual mastery.